Young children are so much fun to encourage! Sally learns to tie
her shoes, Billy catches the ball for the first time, Sandy reads
her first words, or Ricky picks up his toys without help.

Most everyone finds encouraging little ones a joyful experience. In
truth, it is also easy because small children are learning new
things all the time. In fact, my five month old son now can clap
his hands…sort of.

But whether the youngster is succeeding at a difficult task or just
trying his best to learn something new, most adults are quick to cheer
them on because small children need the praise of loved ones as they
learn their world.

I submit to you that teenagers are not much different. Teenagers
need encouragement and they need it desperately! In fact, today’s
teens need as many cheerleaders as can possibly be gathered up. So
youth leader, are you a great cheerleader for the kids in your
ministry?

Why do teens need encouragement from youth leaders so badly? There
are a lot of reasons but let me give you just a few to think about.

First, teens need encouragement because they are so unsure of
themselves. Your youth ministry students have hit an age where
their minds, bodies, emotions, and relationships are rapidly
changing.

For many kids, these changes are very unsettling. Suddenly they are
not sure who they are or where they belong. Many kids have an
extremely low opinion of themselves because they do not think they
match up to their peers in looks, personality, or popularity. It is
a tough time. Teenagers need encouragement!

A second reason youth need encouragement is because many of them do
not receive encouragement at home. Unfortunately, lots of kids live
in combat zones where fighting and arguing are normal occurrences.

Often times, teens in your group may not hear another adult really
lift them up and cheer them on for who they are and what they are
accomplishing.

NOTE: There are also lots of kids who do get super encouragement at
home. However, some teens tune their parents out or do not take them
seriously. So when you encourage a kid in the group, you may also be
reinforcing something mom or dad has been trying to say also. Teenagers
need encouragement!

Finally, teenagers need encouragement from youth leaders because it
is a great foundation to build a relationship. When you encourage a
student in your youth group ministry and speak to his or her
potential, a bond will begin to form. And that bond will open the
door to teaching the Word of God and leading them in the things of
the Lord.

Additionally, if you ever have a conflict or discipline
issue with that teen, there has been a foundation of encouragement
and will make negative encounters much easier to deal with.

One more thing, remember that not all kids will appear as if they
appreciate your encouragement. That’s ok, do it anyway. They may
smile and thank you or they may blow you off. Don’t worry, be the
best cheerleader you know how to be for the students in your
ministry.

I could give you many more reasons for encouraging the youth in
your ministry but we will stop here. Next week I will share some
simple and practical ways to encourage the kids in your group.

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“How are you doing” I asked one sixth grade student the other
night. She was standing alone after our weekly youth rally. I had
observed her from a distance dialing her cell phone, closing it,
and dialing again. After a few moments she was wiping tears from
her eyes.

“I guess I am OK Pastor Greg.” She replied sheepishly.

I looked at her and simply said, “I don’t believe you.”
More…

That is all it took and then a flood emotions came out.

You see, this twelve-year-old spends Monday through Wednesday at her
dad’s house 40 miles away in another city and with her mom Thursday
through Sunday in town. But there was a conflict as to who was
going to get her from youth group that night.

Mom was busy with her new boyfriend and her dad and step mom were out
to dinner and did not want to drive so far and grandma was already
sleeping.

Her math homework was still at dad’s house but her history was at
mom’s and her book bag was at her friend’s house. She would get in
trouble with the teachers again for not having her materials.

“I’ll probably get detention” she said with a tear stained face.
“My life feels so crazy.”

“She’s resilient; she will get through the divorce.” This same
girl’s mom told me several months ago when school first started.

But is she really that resilient?

Lee is just a great kid. The 9th grader always hugs me no matter
where I see him. He is a country boy who is not always the best
behaved with his friends. But, one on one he is truly one of the
neatest kids I have ever encountered. Yet, my heart breaks for him.

His family is so alcoholic. Since the death of his older brother,
the drinking at home has increased and I firmly believe Lee has
never grappled with the tragic loss head on.

Lee’s mom says he will be fine. “Lee is very resilient” she told me
on the phone last week. Mom returns to the bottle and Lee is dying
inside.

I find myself this week asking the same question that I have asked
myself for years: Are children and teenagers as resilient as adults
would like to think? Or is the truth that adults use “kids are
resilient” as their way to pardon themselves from dealing with the
hurt their children are feeling?

I want to be very careful. There are many sides to every story and
it is not my place to cast judgment on how families operate and
deal with their kids. But, I must be clear on one thing. This idea
that all kids are resilient, and are barely bothered by broken
families and upside down lives, is simply absurd.

Hurt and rejection run deep. Hurt and rejection must be ministered
too. Hurt and rejection cannot be written off with the title, “Kids
are resilient.”

For those of us in youth ministry, let’s pray for and encourage our
kids who are wrestling with the hurts that come from broken homes.

Our Lord Jesus is the Great Healer and it is His love and power
that can wipe away every tear and rebuild broken kids and families.

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