Unfortunately there are times I see one of my students and I just
get this sinking feeling. I look at him/her, observe their behavior
and I get a deep sense that they are in spiritual trouble.

Many times it will be my wife who will mention a concern about one of
the kids. I will watch over time and see the concern she shared and
most often she is right.

I confess it bothers me when I see this. I feel a burden for the
students in the ministry. Often it keeps me awake at night. Watching
a teen begin to drift in a negative direction is like seeing a loved
one drive down a road that has a big “Bridge Out” sign hanging over
it. I am saddened at the thought of the soon to be wreck.

Over the years I have learned there are some tell tale signs that a
Christian teen is slipping and having struggles in their Christian
life. I will spend several articles identifying some of these
warning signs. Certainly my list is not exhaustive or absolute, but
has been a good guide for me.

One sign that a teen is drifting and headed into spiritual
turbulence is when he/she has a negative shift in their peer group.

I think it is safe to say that when a young person abandons a group
of stable (as far as teenagers go) and committed Christian friends
for a group whom appear far less focused on the Lord, then there is
trouble on the horizon. Though this may not appear to be rocket
science, it is an often overlooked warning sign that a teenager is
headed to rough waters in their commitment to the Lord.

As a side note, this is why it is so important that youth leaders
supervise and participate with the teens in activities because it
is during those times that the subtle shifts in a struggling kid
may be observed.

The leaders who stand around in the back of the
room or choose a different room altogether are missing a major
imperative of youth work; building relationships and keeping a feel
on the pulse of the group and individual students.

I think there are many reasons why youth group ministry kids may
drift towards a negative peer group. One reason is because he/she
may feel alienation from their former group.

I wish I could say that Christian students always show love towards
one another but it is not true. Just like adults, teens in the church
can be ugly to one another a push people out of their group.More often,
I think kids drift to negative peer groups when they get
wrapped up in sin.

It is a basic principle of spiritual formation; if a student begins
living in rebellion to the Lord then the lives of those who are
walking with Christ is going to be a conviction to him/her. At that
point, the teen is left to both repent and get right with God or to
separate from those living for Christ.

If you see one of your youth members headed in the direction of a
negative peer group, then I suggest you go after them. Youth Group
Ministry is not a spectator sport.

Go out of your way to get that student. Point out the change you see
in him/her. Remind him that you are always there if they need
something. Tell her how much potential she has and that God can
really use her.

They may not want to hear from you but that does not change your
responsibility.

Sometimes teenagers need an adult in their lives who will care
enough to grab them and say, “I think you are going to wrong way.”

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Andrew is a graduate of our youth ministry. He was in 8th grade
when I arrived on the job. He was a tall, blonde haired kid with a
great ear for music, tremendous stage presence, and extraordinarily
creative.

Andrew was part of the first mission team I led from this church.
He was part of every mission team thereafter until he graduated
from high school. He returned one more year to serve as an
assistant leader.

During those years in our mission training program and trips, Andrew
learned to share his faith. He memorized verses and completed sermon
and scripture reviews. He learned to really reach out to people and
show love for them. During that time, he became a remarkable worship
leader. He played his guitar and used his great voice to lead others
into the worship of our Lord.

As Andrew started college, he was hired to work at the church part
time. Much of his time on the job was working directly with me in
the youth ministry. Andrew did well but the church job and college
just did not seem to sit with him at that time.

After a season of prayer and searching, Andrew determined that God
was calling him take up his cross and go out. It seems those years
of youth missions marked Andrew in a much deeper way than I had realized.

48 hours from the time of this writing, Andrew will board an
airplane and leave central Florida for Colorado. There he will
train at the YWAM (Youth with a Mission) headquarters. After
several months of training, he will be dispatched to one of several
possible mission locations around the world.

I have to admit it. The human side of me will miss Andrew and I
hate to see him go. He is a great asset to the ministry. He is a
young man I have come to love and appreciate deeply. The good news
is that he is off to do what I have encouraged all my teens to do
over the years; to take up their cross and follow Jesus. For
Andrew, that cross points to Colorado and then to somewhere in the
world.

I pray that the Lord will watch over Andrew and bring him back so
we have an opportunity to fellowship again. I am proud of him and
my wife and I will hold him up in prayer. As you read this entry,
would you also pray?

Andrew, go out and preach the gospel.

Greg Gunn

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A student ministry leader can fake a lot of things.

-He can fake his way through a youth meeting he was not prepared for.

-She can fake her way through a Bible study that she has no passion
about.

-A youth leader can pretend to be enthusiastic about the church, but
secretly be burned out and looking for another job.

Yes, it is true. A youth leader can fake a lot of things, however
take note of this…..

You can’t fake love!

I am reminded this week that one of the paramount aspects of
working in youth ministry is to love the kids God sends my way.

That means I need to love the lovely and the unlovable. I need to
love the happy and the sad. I need to love those who are willing to
do everything and those who won’t move from their seat. I need to
love the obedient and the rebellious.

This love does not mean that I lower group standards; it just means
that my starting place is a genuine love for all the students who God
brings into my group.

The reality is that love is tough for us to show sometimes. For all
the teens that are easy to love, there are others who make love
very difficult.

The outwardly rebellious gothic kid may be hard for some to love.
The rich and snobby 17 year-old may be hard for some to love. The
8th grader who always wears the same shirt and seems
to never shower may be hard for some to love.

But, no matter who they are, what they look like, or their attitude
towards us, we have a responsibility to demonstrate the love of
Christ towards them.

Believe me; I am still working on this. It is my ongoing prayer
that God will teach me to love without condition.

My encouragement is found in Romans 5:8

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still
sinners, Christ died for us.”

I am amazed and humbled by that scripture. God showed His love toward
me while I was still in my sin. He did not wait for me to clean up my act,
shower, dress right, or go to church. Christ loved me before I knew
I was loved.

As I learn more about His love and grow in my walk with Him, the
natural overflow of that is the love I show toward others. Here is
where it gets sticky. My observation is that there are a lot of
folks in ministry (and youth ministry) who do not SINCERELY love
their people.

Church leaders are praying, praising, preaching, and all that, but
not loving the people God puts in their way.

Here it is…Love cannot be faked.

If you are in youth ministry, I hope you love your kids. If you
don’t love them then you should get out.

Do not underestimate a teenager’s ability to see what is real. In
fact, most teens are at a point in their lives where they are
desperately searching for what is really true.

If you or I are struggling with our love towards them, kids will see
it. A lot of things can be faked in youth ministry, but love for the
kids is not one of them.

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